I love you, Rpattz--but, your hotness is circumstantial.

Is it any wonder, then, that I prefer Edward to you? Edward smells fantastic, is twenty kinds of sexy, speaks with that smooth, deep voice, and (based on what I've had to surmise given SM's borderline criminal omission of detail) is devastatingly well-hung.

Sure, your true eye color is much better than that of Edward. Your English accent is endearing, and you clean up real nice for photo shoots. But the hobo clothes and the unwashed mop? Not quite panty-droppers.

But, here's the real question--how do other guys pull off the hobo look while you (sorry to break it to you) fail?

I considered this question while chatting with helena_handbasket about something that's about to happen in a little BxE fic I'm writing. Bella and Edward are headed to a Foo Fighters show and she will find herself overwhelmed by the fuck-tastic hotness of being in the same room as Edward and Dave Grohl.

Dave Grohl...now that's a guy who can pull of the hobo look. Despite the flannel shirts and the fact that he doesn't shave sometimes for months it seems, he always manages to look clean and yum-diggety.

Maybe my blog followers can give you some pointers on sprucing yourself up a little? I know things with Kstew are hot and heavy now, but the honeymoon's gotta end at some point...

(hint to non-Rpattz readers, which means all of you: how is it that Dave Grohl pulls it off but Rob doesn't? Isn't it our duty as his fans to help him out?)