Long Time Between Updates + Update Only Gives Second POV = Major Fic Faux Pas

Now, you know I don't like to rant (::cough::bullshit::cough::) but I've decided to start a new series to be lovingly referred to as "Fic Faux Pas". I'm not malicious--I won't mention any fic by name or make any obvious allusions--rather, I will give authors some pointers on a few things that would help we readers love them even more. Now, it might seem, at times like I'm giving authors quite a spanking, but someone needs to advocate for us, the reader! Authors, this is hurting me more than it's hurting you, but I'm spanking you for your own good.

Read and learn:

Long Time Between Updates + Update Only Gives Second POV = Major Fic Faux Pas

If I love your story but if you write like molasses I need the next part to give me more. More, not as in same stuff, different character. More, as in more of the story. And, when I say story, I mean plot. If I have waited a long time, what I want to know most is what will happen next.

One more thing:

If you pull this after a big cliffie, don't even fucking talk to me. I hate you. At least for awhile.

But, love and hate are parallel emotions, and I hate you only because I love you. I love you so much that I want everything you have to give me. But, then it's like "why are you holding out?" I am filled with joy when I get your update in my box, but when I don't find out what happens next, it's all just a tease.

There are some exceptions:

People who update frequently are exempt. Kind of.

If you're posting twice a week, I don't really mind. Though, in general I don't think most authors do a great job of pulling off same scene/different character, but that is a rant for another time.

So that's it chicadees. But I'm curious to know--what rants are you storing up? Drop me a line and tell me your fic faux pas!